Getting back with your ex: Eager beavers get meager returns

Here’s a pointer that will beef up your prospects of undoing your recent breakup and getting back with your ex. It’s a tip that will show you exactly how to respond to any overtures made by your ex lover. Remember: getting an ex back is not going to be easy. You can’t make your ex want you back just by expressing your own desires for this to happen.

This tip is a jewel of breakup-reversing wisdom, and you will do well to give it close consideration, if you are serious about reviving your broken relationship and getting your lover right back into your life.

What’s this amazing secret? Here you are: you may have the very best of good intentions about getting your ex back, but you could still unknowingly goof up by being an eager beaver and leaping before you look.

Just how could something like that happen? One way to goof up is to ignore the absolute need for delicacy and moderation at all points of your making up efforts. It is obvious that you can only succeed in having your way by avoiding conflict: don’t get into blame games over who said this, who did that and who was at fault for that other thing. It also goes without saying that you must react with no hostility if your lover should bring up some blame game issues. You have to be receptive to any signals your ex is sending to you: does your ex want to get back with you; does your ex still harbor any doubts. You have got to be subtle as you try to make your ex want you back.

You want to demonstrate a fine sense of tolerance if your ex does bring up any issues. You will surely open up the chasm between your lover and yourself with any lapses in judgment. This is something you’ve just got to avoid. At all costs, you don’t need a return to a mutual gripe session full of “You said this, I didn’t” and “You did that, I didn’t”. That is no way of getting an ex back.

Keep that in mind as you meet your ex in a cozy nook somewhere, maybe having some coffee as you sound out each other. This meeting is your first face-to-face session with your ex since your breakup, and both of you are judging the possibilities of a reunion. You are hoping he is as receptive as you are to the idea of getting back with your ex.

That is as it should be, since it is the essential first step. Make sure, though, that you keep it short. Don’t dilly-dally – a maximum of half an hour should suffice. Abstain from pushing your luck, and stay away from arguments. Use no threats, use no desperate pleas. Try to convey your seriousness and sincerity to your ex; let them know that you are being circumspect; you are allowing them sufficient space to work things out and reach a decision at their own speed, free of any pressure. Let it be seen that you have seriously thought over getting back together with your ex.

If your lover does raise the subject of getting back together – refrain from bouncing around like a roo on a pogo stick. Take some time before you answer, and do so with dignity. Use words like “Sounds great, but I think we should take it slow and give it some time”. Be sure, though, to transmit the clear impression to your ex that you are not against the idea of reuniting. You are only being cautious so that both of you can avoid any more misapprehensions and pain.

At all events, what you absolutely should not do, is collapse into your ex’s embrace at the first sign your ex wants you back. Even worse, don’t attempt to get physically intimate at this time.

You will save yourself a lot of pain again in the future if you make dead sure that any mutual decision to get together again is worked out with a sensible use of both heart and mind; in the process of getting an ex back, there should be no room for blind unthinking emotion. Another painful breakup lurks in the future if adequate thought is not given to the decision.

Of course, you don’t want that. What you do want is the certainty of getting back with your ex and at the same time, the certainty that there will be no nastiness in future.

So what’s stopping you? Move – make your ex want you back.